Jasmine Crockett’s Big Rally Bust: Six People and a Dream

Published: March 29, 2025

By: R. House Well, folks, it looks like Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-Texas) has officially cemented her status as the Democratic Party’s reigning queen of grassroots momentum—by hosting a rally so electrifying that it drew a whopping six attendees. Yes, you read that right. Six. As in, fewer people than you’d find in line at a gas station bathroom on a slow Tuesday. The event, held in Atlanta on March 19, 2025, was ostensibly a show of support for Kamala Harris, but it seems the only thing it showed was how fast the Democrats’ star power is fading.

Picture this: Crockett, microphone in hand, ready to unleash her signature firebrand rhetoric—probably something about Trump being “Putin’s hoe” or Elon Musk deserving a vulgar tweet—only to look out at a “crowd” that could fit comfortably in a minivan. Did she bring her A-game anyway? Did she pace the stage, rallying those half-dozen brave souls like they were the last hope of democracy? Or did she just sigh, check her watch, and wonder if she could still catch the late-night Taco Bell drive-thru? We may never know, but the image alone is comedy gold.

Social media, of course, lit up like a Christmas tree over this fiasco. X users couldn’t resist dunking on the poor turnout, with one calling it “an overwhelming crowd of six people” and declaring, “It’s over for the Democrats.” Another quipped that Crockett’s rally had less energy than a flat soda left out in the sun. Even the Aussies got in on the action, laughing from Down Under at the sad state of Crockett’s hype machine. You know it’s bad when people halfway across the globe are pointing and giggling.

Now, in fairness, Crockett’s no stranger to grabbing attention. She’s built a brand on viral zingers—like that time she called Marjorie Taylor Greene a “bleach blonde, bad built, butch body” or when she implied Trump wants to bring back slavery (because subtlety’s overrated). But apparently, her knack for spicy soundbites doesn’t translate to filling seats. Maybe the people of Atlanta were just too busy working those low-skill jobs she says Americans won’t do—or maybe they’re just tired of her schtick. Either way, six attendees is less a rally and more a small book club that forgot to read the assignment.

This isn’t even the first time Crockett’s rallied for Kamala Harris and flopped. Posts on X claim she pulled the same stunt back in August 2024 with identical results—six people. Is this her lucky number? Does she have a secret fan club capped at a half-dozen diehards who follow her everywhere? Or is it just that her brand of loudmouth liberalism is losing its luster faster than a Tesla stock in a boycott?

The Democrats must be sweating bullets over this. If Crockett’s their “messaging czar,” as the NRCC dubbed her, then the party’s in deeper trouble than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

With Trump back in the White House and the GOP gleefully hunting for new boogeymen, you’d think Crockett would be the perfect foil—fiery, unapologetic, and media-savvy. But if she can’t muster more than six warm bodies to cheer her on, maybe it’s time to rethink that strategy. Even AOC could probably pull a bigger crowd hawking overpriced “Tax the Rich” sweatshirts.

So here’s to you, Jasmine Crockett: the congresswoman who turned a rally into a punchline. Next time, maybe skip the stage and just host a Zoom call—it’d be cheaper, and you’d still have room for your six loyal fans. In the meantime, enjoy the memes, because this flop’s going to live on X longer than your political career might. Six people? That’s not a rally—that’s a group project where everyone else forgot to show up.