The Blame Game Olympics: From Twinkies to Track Meets, It’s Always Someone Else’s Fault

Published: April 24, 2025

By: R. House

Well, folks, grab your popcorn and settle in for the latest episode of Accountability? Never Heard of Her! Our star today is a black woman who’s taken to the stage—well, a video posted by TaraBull808 on X—to deliver a rant so wild it deserves its own comedy special. Her groundbreaking thesis? White people—and, of course, Trump—are the sinister architects behind her expanding waistline. Yes, you heard that right: her poor diet choices aren’t her fault, because systemic racism is apparently force-feeding her donuts. And in a twist that’ll make your head spin, this logic isn’t too far off from the “self-defense” argument we’re hearing in the tragic stabbing of a white student by a black teen at a recent track meet. Buckle up, because we’re about to mock the ever-loving heck out of this nonsense while drawing some uncomfortably hilarious parallels.

Let’s start with our dietary trailblazer. In the video, our heroine passionately explains that black women like her aren’t to blame for being overweight—oh no, that would require taking responsibility! Instead, she points the finger squarely at white folks, who, through the magic of systemic oppression, have rigged the game so she can’t help but reach for that third slice of pizza. It’s not about her choices, you see; it’s about her “stress response” to living in a world where white supremacy lurks around every corner, probably hiding in her fridge next to the leftover mac and cheese. Trump gets a special shoutout as the apparent mastermind of this culinary conspiracy—because when in doubt, blame the guy with the most famous combover in history. I mean, why admit you might’ve skipped the gym for the past decade when you can claim your muffin top is a protest against racism? It’s the kind of mental gymnastics that deserves a gold medal in creative fiction.

Now, let’s pivot to a far more serious—but equally absurd—story: the recent stabbing death of Austin Metcalf, a 17-year-old white student, at a track meet in Frisco, Texas, on April 2, 2025. The suspect, a black teen named Karmelo Anthony, allegedly stabbed Metcalf during an altercation that started over something as petty as tent space during a rain delay. But here’s where it gets spicy: Anthony’s camp is floating the idea that this was “self-defense,” with some whispers suggesting it was a “stress response” to perceived racism. Because apparently, when you’re a black teen at a track meet and someone tells you to move, the natural reaction is to whip out a knife and stab them in the chest—obviously, that’s just the systemic

oppression talking! Forget the fact that a young man is dead; let’s make this about the stabber’s feelings and the invisible hand of racism that forced him to carry a weapon and use it. It’s self-defense, they say, because… well, racism made him do it. Sure, Jan.

So, let’s break down the similarities here, shall we? On one hand, we’ve got a woman claiming her obesity isn’t her fault because white people’s racism stresses her out, leading her to eat her feelings in the form of a family-sized bag of chips. On the other, we’ve got a teen who ended a life but wants us to believe it’s not really his fault because the racism he’s faced stressed him out, leading him to stab someone as a “natural response.” Both are leaning hard into the “stress response” excuse, as if systemic racism is a puppet master pulling their strings—whether those strings lead to a fast-food drive-thru or a deadly weapon. It’s almost poetic in its absurdity: one’s using it to justify a bad habit, the other to justify a crime. But in both cases, the real MVP is the refusal to look in the mirror and say, “Maybe I played a role in this.”

The irony is thicker than the frosting on a Cinnabon. Our diet warrior wants us to believe that white people are somehow controlling her fork, while Anthony’s defenders want us to believe that racism controlled his knife. Neither wants to own their actions—why bother when you can blame “the system” and make it a racial sob story? It’s the ultimate hustle: wrap your bad decisions in a cloak of oppression, and suddenly you’re untouchable. Call out the diet lady, and you’re fat-shaming a victim of racism. Question the stabbing narrative, and you’re ignoring the “lived experience” of a marginalized teen. It’s a perfect shield, and they’re wielding it like pros.

But let’s get real for a second. The diet rant is laughable—nobody’s buying that white folks are sneaking into her kitchen to swap her salads for burgers. And the track meet tragedy? It’s heartbreaking, but the “self-defense via racism” argument doesn’t hold water when you’ve got a dead kid and a witness saying Anthony pulled a knife after a petty argument. Both cases scream the same thing: a desperate need to dodge accountability by playing the race card. It’s not clever; it’s lazy. And honestly, it’s insulting to everyone—black, white, or otherwise—who manages to navigate life’s stresses without blaming an entire racial group for their choices.

So, here’s a wild idea: maybe the diet lady could try a salad, and maybe the stabber could’ve walked away. But nah, that’s too much to ask in 2025, where personal responsibility is apparently as outdated as flip phones. Instead, let’s keep blaming white people for everything—from love handles to literal murder. It’s the American way! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to stress-eat a donut—guess whose fault that’ll be?